


just out of reach

by itbelynx



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Confessions, F/F, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:02:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21755719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itbelynx/pseuds/itbelynx
Summary: The Mighty Nein rind solace in a hut within a hotel room, but they don't feel safe enough not to have watches going. Beau and Fjord take first watch and finally have their Captain and First Mate check in.
Relationships: Fjord/Caleb Widogast, Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett
Comments: 8
Kudos: 198





	just out of reach

**Author's Note:**

> this is self indulgent and gay and just what I want for this next episode

The party was exhausted. Even if Fjord wasn't super perceptive he could see how the heavy breaths they were taking and the aches from their wounds they held as they all staggered up to the safety of the provided rooms for them. They all stood in the hall for a moment before taking one look at Caleb and all piling into one room. 

"We'll keep you safe, but maybe we should add some extra layers of protection?" Beau said, putting one of her hands on Caleb's shoulder. 

Caleb nodded, expression completely blank, and headed to the door and started casting a spell there. While he did that, Fjord began to move some of the furniture around so they could have a big space in the middle of the room. Yasha came over and helped, seeming to understand the need to feel useful. He still wasn't quite sure if he trusted her, but at least for now she seemed to want to protect Caleb and that was enough for him.

Once there was enough space, Caleb began to walk in his circles as he began to set up the hut. Fjord threw all of the blankets and pillows on the ground where the hut would soon be. 

"We should grab the other blankets and pillows and shit from the other provided rooms," Fjord said to the group. 

Everyone seemed extremely out of it, but also keenly watching Caleb. As much as Fjord wished he could stay and watch, he knew that he couldn't sit here and not do anything. He glanced at Yasha to keep an eye out while he slowly went to the two other rooms and yanked all of the sheets, blankets and pillows and dumped them on the floor of the room they were all sharing. 

Within minutes, the hut was up and they all took to making a comfortable pile to cuddle close on, all making it explicitly clear that Caleb was in the middle. He seemed so out of it that he didn't even protest. 

"I'll take first watch.m," Fjord said. 

"I'll join you," Beau said, situating herself on one side of Caleb. Jester was on the other side and Nott was like a cat surrounding Caleb's head. 

The group all seemed to be desperately waiting for Caleb to fall asleep first, no one being sure if he would even sleep at all. Finally, after a bit of waiting, Caleb's breathing evened out and the Mighty Nein took a collective sigh of relief before those not on watch slowly blinked out. 

"Some day, huh?" Beau said softly. 

"Yeah. We're lucky to be alive.  _ You're _ lucky to be alive."

"Somehow, yeah. I went down twice today. Both Jester and Cad helped me."

"They're amazing, aren't they?"

Beau only nodded. She was glancing over at him, but then she'd glance away or at one of the others. 

"Something on your mind?" Fjord asked, leaning back a bit. 

"I just… I had a question. It's been a while since we've checked in as Captain and First Mate."

"It's been a while since we've been on the Mist, other than when you went and got tattoos and passed out, that is," he teased. 

She rolled her eyes. 

"Well, when we were on the sea, and even way before that. Basically since I've been with you all, Jester has flirted with you and shit. And it seemed like for a bit there, that you had started to reciprocate those feelings. But there hasn't, at least to my knowledge, been much more of that since we've gone mainland. So… I wanted to ask if you had feelings for her at all anymore, or if you even did in the first place?"

Fjord could have laughed. For a gay person herself, she really could not pick up on him. 

"Where is this coming from?" 

"Well, you see-"

"You like Jester, don't you?"

" _ SSH!"  _

Had they been next to each other, Fjord was certain she would have punched him. 

"Not so loud, dude!" She glanced down at Jester and waited until she was sure the cleric was still asleep before looking back up at him. 

"Yes, okay. I have a crush on Jester. But it's not like I'll act on it or anything! She's got the hots for you! She told Nott!"

"Well, be rest assured I do not have any feelings for her, so if you wanted to pursue her, you could."

"We don't even know if she likes girls!"

Ah. The gay dilemma. 

"You've got me there. I'm actually in a bit of a similar situation."

"Oh?" Beau put her chin in her hands and rested her elbows on her knees, looking enraptured. 

"Yeah." Fjord thought a moment. "You know what? I'll make you a deal. I'll find out if Jester is into women for you."

"What's the catch?" 

"You have to find out about Caleb."

There was a beat of silence. Then Beau had to grab a blanket to muffle her scream of laughter. Fjord stared at her incredulously. 

"Sorry. I'm sorry. I don't mean to laugh. I just…  _ did  _ not expect you to tell me you had feelings for Caleb." 

He looked away, fully aware of the blush on his cheeks. His gaze shifted over to the sleeping wizard, who had somewhere in the night made his cat appear and was snuggling Frumpkin and Nott very close. 

"I didn't really expect it either, you know?" He said softly. 

"Yeah," Beau said after a moment. Fjord looked up to see her looking at Jester. 

"Sucks not knowing for sure. Like, there have been moments where I was certain he was flirting with me. But all he's had is Astrid, so it's impossible to tell if he's just making jokes, or if he maybe has feelings for me, too." 

" _ Gods, _ I know. Like. There have been so many moments where I thought I caught Jester blushing over me, or flirting with me in some way. And it's kinda freaking me out, man! I've technically only been with one other woman that was like a real relationship. All the others have been one night stands, mostly to fill the void. But Jester… she's different. I care about her. I want her to be happy. I'll kill any fucker who does her wrong. And that's terrifying to me."

"Believe me, I understand. After Sabien, I wasn't sure I'd trust myself around another man again. But then, here comes this man who cares deeply about people once he trusts them. And he's brilliantly smart, and he understands me and my bullshit somehow. I think it all started when you guys rescued us from the Iron Shepherds. At first, I was starstruck that he was there at all. But then you told us that he got the decisive blow on that Lorenzo fuck, and my admiration of him grew ten fold. 

"And then we were on the sea, and he was looking out for me because of Avantika. He understood what I was dealing with. The moment he went down during that fight with Avantika, I panicked. That's when I noticed my feelings for him. And everything that's led up to this point has made me more protective of him, especially now that we're in this city that's hurt him so badly. And I want, so badly, to take him away from this place, go back to Nicodranes and just escape into the sea together."

"He's a good guy, as much as he doesn't want to admit it."

"He is," Fjord nodded, a sad smile on his lips. 

"Alright," Beau stuck her hand out and across their friends. "You have a deal."

Fjord's smile grew as he met her hand with his own and they shook on it. Beau reciprocated the smile and the two turned to face the door and the window. And the rest of the watch was uneventful. 


End file.
